The dead vote went to President-elect Joe Biden. Legions of liberal zombies shambled to polling places and post offices and devoured millions of votes cast for the infernal incumbent. Joe Biden is a grave-robbing thief who stole a second term from soon to be ex-President Donald Trump. 

For all the bizarre, baseless and baldly false excuses Team Trump and his grief counselors have offered to explain his decisive defeat, “dead people voting” is surprisingly standard. The myth of masses of deceased voters casting ballots from the grave is almost as old as our democracy. It’s an article of faith in Our Stiff Neck of the Woods, but in 25 years of local journalism I’ve never seen a shred of evidence to back it up. 

When Trump’s lawyers presented lists of “dead people” who voted in the presidential election, local journalists checked the names against government documents, voter rolls and obituaries. They found the voters alive and well. 

WXIA-TV, an NBC affiliate in Atlanta, told the story of Agnes Blalock, who has voted since the 1940s under the name “Mrs. James Blalock Jr.” Her husband died in 2006. Trump lawyers lopped off “Mrs.” and claimed James Blalock voted from the afterlife. See the full story at 11Alive.com

News of Mrs. Blalock’s continuing respiration hit Fox “News” rage-monger Tucker Carlson hard. Out front in promoting Trump’s false cries of widespread voter fraud, Carlson found it necessary to “apologize” to his perpetually aggrieved audience. 

“One of the people who voted in last week’s election isn’t dead,” Carlson said. “James Blalock is still dead, we told you about him, but it was his wife who voted. She voted as Mrs. James Blalock. It’s old-fashioned and we missed it.”

Nonetheless, Carlson persisted in selling the dead voter narrative. He said nothing about Linda Kesler, another Georgia voter he and Team Trump accused of voting dead. WXIA-TV found her, too, alive and well.

Debunking the dead vote conspiracy theory was a lay-up for local journalists, but someone had to do it. Tucker Carlson spews falsehoods all the time, but he was compelled to correct the record. Local journalism matters. 

ALSO: Turnout in Lackawanna County was apparently high, something I don’t recall ever seeing. That said, I’m fascinated by registered voters who sat out one of the most important elections in American history. If you’re among them, I’d like to chat. Please email me at ckelly@timesshamrock.com.