Since late Saturday, antisocial media around the world has been “dominated” by memes, videos and photo-illustrations mocking Trump’s slow trudge to the bunker after his “comeback” Cult 45 revival in Tulsa failed to launch. What to do with all that leftover Kool-Aid?

As he climbed out of Marine One after returning to D.C., Trump looked like a pummeled palooka who just went 10 rounds with the undisputed Champ some of us call Karma. His face was sullen and swollen. His eyes looked empty. His necktie was draped around his neck like an unraveled Ace bandage as he limped across the White House lawn.

Hyped by his amateur-hour campaign as a monumental rally “like no one’s ever seen,” Trump’s Tulsa Bust drew just 6,200 potential COVID-19 superspreaders to a 19,000-seat arena. An “overflow” crowd never materialized. The “Silent Majority” didn’t show up. The “Invisible Majority” filled every empty seat.

In the run-up to the rally, Trump boasted that there would “certainly” be “no empty seats.” Almost 13,000 of them greeted the Great Exaggerator as he took the podium to the wild cheers and vapor droplets of mostly maskless Cult 45 true believers who signed waivers absolving Trump if they contracted a deadly virus in service to his immense, insatiable ego.

Trump said nothing about George Floyd, or other black Americans murdered by police. He dismissed all who protest police brutality as thugs bent on the destruction of (White) America. He appeared to confess to slowing coronavirus testing to artificially depress case numbers and hide the disastrous costs of his incompetent, uncaring response to a virus that has killed 122,000 Americans and counting, including 200 here in Lackawanna County. He called it “Kung flu,” a racist, lame joke you expect from a teenage class clown, not the President of the United States.

I could ridicule Trump’s Tulsa Experiment in “Electile Dysfunction” until the sun burns out. Instead, I elect to let the “Very Stable Genius” do the talking. The hot topic Trump gave the most time — about 14 minutes — was his widely panned recent graduation speech at West Point. Below is a transcript of those 14 minutes. Read it and weep for a great nation that elected this self-obsessed, crude, cruel and clueless huckster to the most powerful position on the planet.


So last week they called me and they say, “Sir, West Point, West Point, we’re ready.” I said, “Oh, that’s right. I have to make the commencement speech at West Point.”

You know, they delayed it for six weeks because of COVID. So they delayed it and I went there. 1,106 cadets were graduated and beautiful. Beautiful [inaudible]. Just to show you how bad the fake news is, so they say to me, “Sir, we’re ready to go.” I say, “Let’s go.” This is after saying hello to a lot of cadets, inspecting little areas of a building, that was very exciting. Actually, it’s beautiful, very old. Studied a lot of our great generals, some of our presidents that went there. West Point is beautiful, right on the Hudson River. But after an hour, the general that runs it is a fantastic guy. After an hour, we land, we do some more inspections and they say, “Sir, are you ready? Yes, I am.” So we walked like the equivalent of about three blocks, which is fine. We go onstage, which is fine. They make speeches, then I make a speech that lasted a long time. I don’t know, maybe 45 minutes, maybe longer, I don’t know but a long time. The sun is pouring down on me, okay.

But they said to me before the speech, “Sir, would you like to salute each cadet, each single cadet? Or maybe there’ll be in groups of two. Would you like to salute? Like this? Yes.” Like this, almost 600 times. You know what that is? 600 times. Thank God they were in twos because let me tell you, you do that 600 times, you go home and you say it’s like a workout without a weight, right? 600 times. So I did that. Then the incredible helicopters, brand new gorgeous helicopters, the Apaches and the other new ones that we just bought.

Helicopters, the Apaches and the other new ones that we just bought. So they fly over and the kids throw the hats in the air, it’s beautiful, it really is. It was a beautiful day and we’re all finished. I was on the stage for hours, hours, sun, I came home, I had a nice tan, meaning I had a nice sunburn. The sun’s [inaudible] like that, but I make this speech. I salute for probably an hour and a half, maybe more, but around that. Watch. If I’m off by two minutes they’ll say, “He exaggerated. It was only an hour and 25 minutes. He exaggerated, he lied, he lied, he’s a liar.” These people are sick, the fake news.

So then I finish saluting my final salute, I said, “Thank goodness. Thank you very much.” Think of it. So essentially almost 600 times. Now the general says, “Sir, are you ready?” I said, “I’m ready General, where are we going now?” You have to understand I left early in the morning to get there. Now it’s sort of late in the afternoon. A lot of these fakers were with us. So they know. He said, ” Sir, we can now leave the stage.” I said, “Great general, let’s go, I’ll follow you,” and he goes like this, “Right here, sir,” and I walked off. The stage was higher than this one and the ramp was probably 10 yards long. I say, “General.” Now you got to understand, I have the whole corps of cadets looking at me and I want them to love their president, I did this big thing. I love them, I love them. They’re incredible, and they do. I said, “General, I’ve got myself a problem, general.” Because I’m wearing leather bottom shoes which is good if you’re walking on flat surfaces. It’s not good for ramps and if I fall down, look at all those press back there, look at them. This was a steel ramp, you all saw it because everybody saw it. This was a steel ramp. It had no handrail, it was like an ice skating rink, and I said, “General, I have a problem,” and he didn’t understand that at first. I said, “There’s no way.” He understood, I just saluted almost 600 times. I just made a big speech. I sat for other speeches. I’m being baked. I’m being baked like a cake. I said, “General, there’s no way I can make it down that ramp without falling on my ass, General. I have no railing.”

It’s true. So I said, “Is there like something else around?” “Sir, the ramp is ready to go.” “Grab me sir, grab me.” I didn’t really want to grab him. You know why? Because I said, “That will be a story too.” So now I have a choice. I can stay up there for another couple of hours and wait till I’m rescued or I can go down this really steep, really, really, really … It’s an ice skating rink, it’s brutal. So I said, “General, get ready because I may grab you so fast.” Because I can’t fall with the fake news watching. If I fall, if I fall, I remember when President Ford fell out of the plane, do you remember? I remember when another president, nice man, threw up in Japan, and they did slow-motion replays. It’s true, right? “I don’t want that, general.” Now he’s standing there, big strong guy, and he’s got these shoes but they’re loaded with rubber on the bottom because I looked, the first thing I did, I looked at his shoes. Then I looked at mine. Very, very slippery. So I end up saying, “Okay, general, let’s go. I will only grab you if I need you. That’s not a good story. Falling would be a disaster. It turned out to be worse than anything, I would have been better off if I fell and slid down the damn ramp. Right? So what happens is I start the journey, inch by inch, right? I was really bent over too. I didn’t like that. I didn’t like this picture. This picture I’m sure will be an ad by the fakers. So I was bent over, right? Bent over like this. Then we finally reached almost the end and the fake news, the most dishonest human beings, they cut it off. You know why? Because when I was 10 feet short, I said, “General, I’m sorry,” and I ran down the rest, right? I looked very handsome. That was the only good. I wouldn’t want to run down the whole thing because the fall there would be definitely bad. So I took these little steps, I ran down the last 10, and by the way their tape, take a look. In almost every instance, it ends just before I run, and they said, “Here was the number one trending story.”

I call my wife, I said, “How good was that speech? I thought it was a …” Hey look, I will tell you when I make good ones and bad ones. Like so far tonight, I’m average, but we’re having fun, we’re having fun. So far tonight, but I call my wife and I said, “How good was it, darling?” She said, “You’re trending number one.” I said to our great first lady, I said, “Let me ask you a question. Was it that good of a speech that I’m trending number one? Because I felt it was really good.” No no, they don’t even mention the speech. They mention the fact that you may have Parkinson’s disease. It’s true. It’s true. It’s true.

They say there is something wrong with our president. I’ll let you know if there’s something wrong, okay? I’ll let you know if there’s something, I’ll tell you what, there’s something wrong with Biden, that I could tell you.

So then my wife said, “Well it wasn’t only the ramp. Did you have water?” I said, “Yeah. I was speaking for a long time. I didn’t want to drink it, but I wanted to wet my lips a little bit.” You’re drinking, you’re working hard up there with the sun pouring down on you. I love this location, the sun’s like this. This way they save on lighting, right? That’s why they did it probably. So what happens is I said, “What does it have to do with water?” They said, “You couldn’t lift your hand up to your mouth with water.” I said, “I just saluted 600 times like this, and this was before I saluted, so what’s the problem?” She said, “Well I know what you did. You had on a very good red tie that’s sort of expensive.” It’s silk because they look better. They have a better sheen to them. And I don’t want to get water on the tie, and I don’t want to drink much, so I lift it up, the water.

I see we have a little glass of water. Where the hell did this water come from? Where did it come from? I look down at my tie because I’ve done it. I’ve taken water and it spills down onto your tie, doesn’t look good for a long time and frankly, the tie is never the same. So I put it up to my lip and then I say, “[inaudible]”, and they gave me another disease. They gave me another disease. Anyway, that’s a long story, but here’s the story. I have lived with more the ramp than the water but I have lived with the ramp and the water since I left West Point. Not one media group said I made a good speech or I made a great speech, but the kids loved it because they broke their barrier which wasn’t good in terms of COVID but they broke their barrier and they wanted to shake hands, they wanted to … I don’t want to tell anybody, but there were a couple of kids, they put out their hand, I actually shook their hand, okay? I actually shook them. Because they were excited. They were excited. They were with their president. They were excited. The most beautiful young people. Men, women, the most beautiful young people you’ve ever seen. So think of how you feel if you’re me. I go there, how did I do? “Sir, that was a great speech.” You know all my people, “Sir, that was one of your best, that was great.” I said, “That’s great, I agree, it was a good speech. I like that speech.” They don’t mention the speech but they have been going down this ramp [inaudible]. It’s so unfair. It really is. So unfair. They are among the most dishonest people anywhere on earth. They’re bad people. Bad people.”