What is Lackawanna County Commissioner Laureen Cummings smoking?

Cigarettes. Newport is her brand. In her past career as a health care professional, Cummings must have witnessed the damage done by a product guaranteed to be lethal when used as directed, but she still lights up.

That’s Laureen’s right, implicitly guaranteed in the Constitution she’s read snippets of on Facebook. Nicotine is among the most addictive substances on the planet, but it’s legal, so don’t hassle freedom-lovers committing time-lapse suicide. Cigarettes don’t kill people. People kill people.

Medical marijuana helps people, according to vast stores of research and patient testimonials. Cummings is not buying all this scientific nonsense. She’s seen “Reefer Madness.” She knows the straight dope on “wacky tobacky,” so save your breath, godless hippies.

Cummings has become infamous for making inflammatory public statements and sharing crackpot content on anti-social media. Her reaction to Lt. Gov. John Fetterman’s Saturday “listening tour” stop at Penn State Scranton was vintage Cummings.

Fetterman was here to discuss the possible legalization of recreational marijuana. Cummings climbed her Facebook pulpit and punched out the post pictured above. Here’s the text:

“I have just witnessed the biggest side show at the listening tour I have ever seen. If these are the people that are representative of this administration, WE ARE DOOMED. People enter the room in a wheel chair due to a broken back, then when speaking stand up and walk to the podium claiming the almighty pot plant healed him. ARE YOU KIDDING ME?” 

Cummings’ signature blend of smug and stupid was not well-received by people who actually know something about the medicinal benefits of cannabis and probably believe in climate change, too.

A bunch of these godless hippies disguised themselves as Real Americans and showed up at Wednesday’s commissioners meeting to tell Cummings what a huge buzzkill she is for compassionate, critical-thinking people.

Times-Tribune Staff Writer Jeff Horvath was there and streamed the carnage live on Twitter. Here’s a link to his feed at jhorvathTT. Watch the video here. Marvel as Cummings defends her right to mock disabled people, once again making an air-tight case for why she should not be in a position that requires respect and representation for all citizens, even if she sees them as godless hippies.

Cummings closed the meeting with her signature ignorance of time and place.She used her remaining official time to wish Commissioner Pat O-Malley a happy 50th birthday. With a cake and balloons.